Madhumita, I Still love you! But I am Glad You Are Not A Part Of My Life

Note: The names have been changed to protect the innocent and the guilty.

In 2018, a girl named Madhumita came into my life. She was awesome. Literally, all she required was time and some good food during the weekend. Every day, she used to say, “Don’t burn out doing excessive work.” I was at my peak in my freelancing career, and she was doing her graduation.

We connected over Instagram, and she used to check on me all the time. I thought she must be love bombing me, so I tested her by not replying to her for days. But she was consistent. I left her on read, and she messaged. I was online but did not talk; she messaged.

I was really confused about why she was so interested.

Finally, I told her, “Listen, fam. I don’t want any kind of relationship, be it friendship or romance. I am making good money, and I have seen my parents struggle for pennies. I will not be able to fulfill any of your roles, so I can’t give you my time.”

She responded, “Okay! I genuinely want to know you”. Also, she said, ” Who has seen you tomorrow? I like you now and spend my time texting you, and that’s all. You can choose to ignore“.

I said okay, and she told me, “Let’s do one thing. I will message you every day, but you call me on the weekends. You only talk for 30 minutes. In that way, you could speak your entire week in minutes, and I would love to listen.”

At this moment, I started taking her seriously.

Our first conversation

Now, what would people normally talk about on a first call? Text like: How are you? How are you doing? or something dull like that, right? I knew the drill, so I was okay if she was not impressive. She said :

• “What’s your biggest fear and achievement?”
• “What would you do if you got 1 million?”
• “Can you survive without intimacy or money?”

I was stuck on what’s happening here. Women with these brilliant conversation skills are still single? Nah, I thought she was double-timing me or gaslighting me. Normally, I get questions like :

• What do you eat for dinner?
• What is the job you do?
• How many members are in your family?

These boring interview questions give me anxiety, and hence, I avoid women who start with this. This woman was different.

After our first conversation for 10 minutes, I said,” Hey, you are good to talk, I am sure you get a lot of attention from men “. She responds, ” I only want attention from men whom I truly desire. If I do anything else, then that would mean I am not truthful. I would just be in a relationship since everyone has a bf, I don’t want that”. She said right away, ” I don’t want to be friends, but your lover”. Think for a day and come back.

This was harder than accepting an offer from a Fortune Company, feel me? But the confidence was magical. This is the time my heart was showing signs of love.

Our first date

She directly invited me over to her parents’ house. I mean, who does that? She said I am dating to marry, I said, but I am not. She said okay. You can do whatever you want. This is my love language.

I met her parents on her first date. Bruh, can you believe this? Oh my god! She arranged a good wholesome Bengali meal that tasted delicious. Furthermore, her mom, her dad her brother were all angels. So nice, so compassionate. I mean, I finally thought it’s time for me to get serious about marriage, too.

Fast forward 1 year, and we were a power couple. There was zero argument we had. Literally zero. We entertained no other people. It was just us. So, trouble in Paradise started when my ex gf Olivia called me out of nowhere.

Trouble in Paradise

Olivia said, ” I know I was an awful girlfriend, but Madhumita is my best friend, this was all a bet we played to see if you ever fall in love again, and I was angry when you left me.” She continued, ” Though it was all a theatrics in the beginning, but after two months, when you meet her parents, she genuinely fell in love with you, and I don’t want to see her heart break.”

Class move! On one hand, Olivia is confessing the crime, and other hand, she is asking for forgiveness. If there were PHD in manipulation, Oliva would be the winner. I asked, “Why are you telling me this, and how long is this was this going to go on?” She responded, ” Darling, it was just a week’s bet. A month at max it would have been over, I had no idea this was going to marathon.”

She added,” Please don’t leave her. She was extremely scared to confess the crime, and it was eating her up each day because of the guilt.” This is the time I realised that God works in the background. You don’t know what’s happening in your life, but the Lord does.

One thing I don’t compromise at all is pray daily, I always say ” Lord, your will be done, and if the partner I am dating doesn’t have the best interest at heart in any way, shape, or form, let it be removed” This is a miracle prayer, a life saver to be precise. Just like the last time, the lord made sure that his child was divinely protected. Imagine what would happen if I had the call after marriage or dating after years? It would be detrimental for mental health

Closure

I choose to walk away, for me, mental health is a priority. If the mind is not right, your body is paralyzed. Remember that. I did not want confrontation, did not ask why, but just chose peace over everything else. The Lord protects, the Lord provides, and the Father always wants the best for his children. I guessed something was off in the beginning, but I trusted my own judgment and moved forward anyway. I take full responsibility for that. At last, I just want to say, ” Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4.23)