Why Marriages In India Are Failing?
Marriages in India are an absolute shitshow nowadays; half of them don’t even want to marry. Take a look at this news report from zeenews, it says 42 per cent of indians ( aged between 26-40) have zero interest in marriage and don’t want to take responsibility for kids.
Earlier, indian women used to fear marriage due to domestic violence and dowry, and today, men are absolutely terrified of getting married since they are facing colossal cases of alimony, false rape and domestic violence charges.
Take a look at this screenshot from social media, where Deepika Bhardwaj stated that one of the candidates from Hazari Court demanded high maintenance from her second husband when she earns 1.3 lakhs per month. She has already taken 40 lakhs from her previous husband, and now she demands outrageous dough.
The Economic Times has reported a case from an indian couple living in the USA where the female demanded 500 cr for alimony. The man not only lost his entire business but also had to spend one month in jail since she had also filed domestic violence charges. The court finally got settled at 12 cr.
A few who are willing to take the risks
Now, shifting your focus to where people have positive thoughts about marriage are now deflecting from marriage too. Some believe that marriage in India is a costly affair, and some don’t want the burden of family at all.
Even a few who are willing to take the risk are ending up in a rapid divorce since the family members of both the husband and wife are posing a threat to the husband or wife, making them regret their decision.
So, before we deep dive into why marriages in India, let’s first analyse how marriages in India take place
The Arranged Marriage Effect
According to BBC reports, 93 % of marriages in India are arranged marriages. Now, arranged marriages in India are started by the middlemen, like the uncle and aunt of both parties. The girl and boy come in contact in front of the families, the marriage biodata are exchanged, and the marriage is finalised.
During this initial discussion, the guy doesn’t speak of the dowry initially. They always say something like “ We want the girl to be our daughter, the rest we have everything in place”
The girl’s side shows them that she is the most wonderful woman on planet earth and sinless. The girl’s family checks if the guy has a good job, a stable life and reputation the society (a form of dowry too), while the character of the girl is judged through investigation.
The marriage gets fixed within 6 months, and if the family has a modern mindset, then meetups happen during the six-month period and calls and messages are exchanged. If the family is orthodox, then they meet directly during the marriage.
Note: When the bride and groom talk to each other, nobody discusses their lifestyle and how they would mitigate their life issues. All they discuss their favourite colour and food like a 10-year-old, and that’s the end of the discussion.
As the marriage date gets closer, the boy starts demanding dowry, and the girl, who was known as the best woman on planet earth, starts saying that she wants a nuclear household and the only cooking skills she has are making omelettes.
Now the real problem starts from here :
The Real Problem of Marriage
In earlier marriages, the boy used to work, and the girl used to take care of the family. The industry used to pay a good amount since it was a one-income household. As times changed, the girls today are raised like boys and the boys and raised like women.
The girls are out clubbing, drinking and smoking and terming it as the “ best life ever”, while the boys are too delicate, they are offended by little things, and now the girls have to act as the ice breaker.
Mama’s Boy and Daddy’s Princess
Boys are so much into skincare and makeup, being the ideal mama’s boy, they cannot handle rejection. Anytime a girl doesn’t want to deal with a mamma’s boy, they are labelled as difficult women, while the girls are “ daddy’s princess” and have forgotten how to treat a man. All they know is what to expect from a man and not how to treat them.
Men always want to see their mother in their spouse, and girls want a father figure. This kind of expectation is damaging. Parents think about your survival rather than their own, while your spouses think about their own survival. There is nothing wrong with that. But expecting your partner to behave like your father or mother is a crime.
Boys today know cooking more than the girls and are experienced in household duties too. The dependency is off, and they think they are better off without women. The woman now earns, and she thinks that is more than enough to live life independently.
Note: There is no such thing as being independent; it’s called being an adult, where you take care of your own things, like bills and expenses. Men have done this for ages, yet you don’t see them screaming independent everywhere. In addition, cooking is a life skill and not a gender skill. You should know your basics.
Men and Women make each other complete
Men are assumed to take on the role as the adviser and the guide, like planning a trip, carrying heavy luggage, fixing things inside the house and making people pay whenever someone disrespects their wife or family. If the man doesn’t stand up to this role, we are termed as “ no backbone or men without balls”
God made us so that we can depend on each other. In the bible, women are termed as the helper; this is a term used by God himself. We often ask for help from God when we are in distress.
In no way, shape, or form am I saying that women are God; I am just stating the role that God has assigned to us. So it’s the job of men to provide and protect, while the woman’s job is to keep the peace of the man and the family. Only by this law and order can we achieve a happy family life.
The Family Effect
If the men and women have divided their duties and are happy with each other, this is where the toxic families of both parties play a huge role. Everything is discussed with the family, the sex issue, the behaviour issue and the ongoing problems after marriage. The families give their expert advice instead of saying, “ You both are adults, you should solve your own problem ”.
Instead of saying that, they say things like “ Leave him/her if she can’t adjust, you are better off without your spouse”. Remember, the first seed of divorce is planted by a family member. Now the husband and wife fight against each other due to the poison that was administered by the family members, and within no time, divorce cases are filed.
The Divorce Business
Nowadays, even for petty arguments, divorce cases are filed; the lawyer suggests that the woman should file for domestic violence and abuse so that the family of the man is labelled as disgraceful in front of the whole world.
Exploiting Power
Calling for help and taking assistance from the police was introduced so that women can seek support, but now it’s being turned into a business of making wild money and ripping men apart.
The men are termed guilty even when he was saint, and the rest of their lives are spent on attending court cases and getting humiliated by society. He loses his job and reputation, and all his last income is given as alimony.
Remember, these are the same pseudo feminists who opposed dowry but have no shame in taking alimony. Ironic eh!
Take a look at this article where the marriage only lasted for one week, and the woman demanded 40 lakhs. Damn girl! You have redefined the meaning of gold digger.
Note: If the woman is really facing abuse with her husband, she just wants peace and nothing else. She just wants a divorce and a way out, or at max wants to see her husband facing jail time due to this.
How can we solve?
Tolderate no abuse. I am saying both men and women. Don’t think that things will get better with time; they won’t. If the girl is abusive (emotionally and physically), have no second thoughts and leave, and if the boy is one, have no second thoughts either. It doesn’t matter how much time you have spent together or the memories you shared. Abuse is abuse, period.
Play your role. Be the woman, and let the man play his role as the man. The feminine needs the masculine and vice versa. In no way, shape, or form does the woman need to be the man in the relationship, and the man needs to woman in the relationship.
Furthermore, I believe there should be no dowry and alimony rule. The groom should not demand dowry, and the bride should not demand alimony. This should be a law and should be followed at all costs. If not, prenups should be made mandatory.
Remember, there are no such things as solemates. If that were true, marriages would not break up and couples would not fall out of love. There is only rolemates where the women do their role and the man does his role.
